The Damon J. Smith Super-Ender.

Well, Damon Smith is blowing the fuck up thanks to myself and DS164. His camp decided to produce this award-pending masterpiece in response to the other video that we did. Just about the caliber of video I'd expect to see. He also did an interview on Jared Bolton's site, sort of his coming out expose. Listen, I read the whole interview, and the dude totally keeps it together throughout and seems really happy-go-lucky about everything. Great job, bro; congrats. But give me a break. Fan-fucking-tastic that you want to race to challenge yourself and push your limits. Hey, that's what EVERYONE wants to do with racing. You don't have to be out on a fucking pro track to work towards progressing what you are capable of on the bike. Shit, Damon could race a goddamn 250 B race and be challenging himself. It seems like he always needs to legitimize himself and what he's doing, as if it's not good enough to just race on the local level. Why can't you just enjoy racing with regular people, BRO? It's who you belong with, dude. Read the interview, the guy runs through every fucking accomplishment that he's ever achieved, even if it's not at all what the dude interviewing was looking for. Damon, we understand that you're proud of what you've done with your life, and no one is against you racing. Racing is cool, it's what we all (actually, maybe only a few of us) like to do. Racing pro? Um, not for you, guy. Maybe a few years down the road, maybe, but absolutely not now, chief. Not even like he's the only person who's ever done something like this; he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time - where I was and with a camera. Hell, I fucking love the guy. He doesn't stop giving me shit to talk about. To think that only a couple of weeks ago I thought he was just some fat, old guy who was grandfathered into the pro license program... Rad.

Honestly, the amount of people who are sympathetic to this guy and supporting him kind of blows my fucking mind. Like, any real racer knows what it's like to ride with some total joe on the track that does nothing more than get in the way. And I'm not even talking about what happened with Austin Howell. I saw the video and as far as I can tell, DJS had nothing to do with it, although there's a lot flying around about that. I guess we can just take this as a wake-up call as to how many internet clowns pretend to know anything about this sport but haven't even touched a race track. Ask any legitimate pro if they think it's a good idea for DJS to be out there. If they say anything but "Fuck no" then let me know and I'll send you a sticker or something gay like that.

Oh, and to all the idiots validating his being on the track with the "He qualified for Loretta's, bro" argument, I did a little investigating: Peep the results. Yeah, everyone in his classes qualified. Well, there goes that, huh? I'm sure that DJS is a nice guy, he certainly comes off that way in the interview. He even seems pretty smart, went to college and all that fun stuff. But to say that he belongs out on the pro track is to say that everyone who can afford to travel to every pro-am ever belongs out there. Or every nut job who will huck his meat over a triple. It's not the case, BROs. But I'm going to end this with a nice comment about Damon J. Smith and say that he is uber-super-handsome for a man of his age. He raced 35+ two years ago, so we can safely say at least 37 [35+2=37. Yep, I checked]. My advice is to stick with the football status. Way hotter girls in that shit, BRO.