Tattoo of the Week: Does This Get Chicks?

 Jesus. When I got the idea to start doing Tattoo of the Week, it was really just a way for me to put that T-Pain tattoo on this blog so I could make fun of it. Now I want to keep doing that, but the amount of idiotic tattoos in the world is absolutely staggering. I mean, we have rappers getting pink ducks tattooed to their goddamn face for shit's sake. It's more than one man can handle. Do you know how many hours I spent looking for this week's Tattoo of the Week?? One, that's a long time to be looking at assholes and their "artistically significant" body art. I semi-stole that line from a movie, but whatever, sue me. No don't. Anyway, my reason for saying this is that I bit off way more than I can chew with this feature, so for this week I'm going to keep it relevant to the sport so I don't get a motherfucking brain hemorrhage.

I really wanted to be able to tell you who actually has this tattoo, but I don't know. His username on checkoutmyink.com (um, how about not?) is mroutlawg4. Listen, men, I think we can all agree that pretty much every BRO out there with a tattoo did it with at least one common reason in mind: To get laid. Like, I want to get a tattoo for the sole reason that chicks dig them. I could spit all this bullshit that it's something that really means a lot to me and that I want to remember forever yada yada yada, but at the end of the day, I could give a fuck. That said, why would you ever get something like this? No good can come of it. No girl would be impressed by it, no one could ever think it's cool, and are you honestly going to tell me that you love Thor and the AMA enough to get their logos as part of a tattoo running the length of your nipple to your hip? Personally, I think just about every motocross-themed tattoo is gayer than AIDS, but this one takes the cake. Just the worst thing I have ever seen. Seriously, why does she even have to be holding the 30 second board? That's really what is putting this one over the top. I hate it. Now I'm upset. Thanks, prick.