Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Compliment Sandwich: Mike Alessi

Bringing back the compliment sandwich feature this week with my absolute favorite topic of discussion, Mike Alessi. If you are unfamiliar with the structure behind the compliment sandwich, it is essentially a criticism wrapped in compliments. The compliment sandwich. It's making waves in middle management, people.

Ok so let's start it out with something good. Let's see, something good.....Well, Mike, the sponsorship and contract opportunities may seem to be fluttering away, but mark my words, that phone is going to be ringing off the hook. There is definitely no other rider who presents this sort of potential to a team effort the way that Mike Alessi does. Good starts, then drops like a fucking rock. The motivational horse of Supercross. Paid to start up front then lose. Also the road block possibilities only add more zeros to the paycheck potential. Dollar dollar bills, y'all. And how about that pic? Fender kiss much? Freestyle is a lucrative road for the right people, BRO.

Now something where you need improvement - whoops, BRO. Practice them. You get paid to ride a motorcycle, at this point you should literally only practice whoops.

Ok, something good, something good...Well my dude BROda once said "Do or do not; there is no try, bro," but what the fuck does he know? You sure do try, big guy, and that's enough for some of us. There have been some great figures in history that may not have gotten the results but at least they tried: the Confederacy, the Soviet Union, Al Gore. I'd say there's a spot reserved for Mike Alessi in that Hall of Lame. Remember champ, you're only a loser if you don't try. And I use the term "champ" with a fucking barrel of irony and sarcasm.

1 comment:

  1. His problem is that he trains on his outdoor track during supercross season. There are plenty of other riders out there that deserve the rides he gets each year.