Monday, December 6, 2010

BROtocross E-Mail: Tight Pants Guy

Dear Eazy,
Hey dude.  I like to wear skinny jeans. They make me feel like a rockstar.   The rest of the bros be hatin on me at the track.  Am I wrong or are motopants not "skinny?" 
-Charkie


I received this e-mail not too long ago. At first, I decided it wasn't worth my time since I am a rockstar, not just feeling like one like Chuckles here. But this is BROtocross, by the people, for the people, right? Your questions and concerns do not go unnoticed, Charkie. The skinny jeans trend is kind of a big gamble, if you ask me. On the one hand, you are rocking these pants that at a moment's notice could crush your nuts into oblivion, should you strike a strange pose or any awkward position. On the other hand, everyone knows that when chicks can see the outline of your unit, that instantly sends them to Hornytown, and you are the mayor, my friend.

The error in logic here is that moto fashion translates into everyday fashion. Moto pants are indeed relatively skinny (with knee braces on, otherwise they are decidedly not). But you also tuck in your jersey, right? Do you tuck in your shirt when you go to the club? Fuck no. And if you do, then that's the reason the bros be hating on you, chief. And because your name is Charkie, but that's neither here nor there. So rock those tight pants, and remember if the bros keep hating, tell them Eazy says sticks and stones may break my bones, but I'm gonna kill yo ass. That's how it goes, no? Keep 'em coming, minions. BROtocross is here to give you the brolutions to your problems.

3 comments:

  1. Charkie does indeed rock the skinny jeans, and we like to point it out when we can... but the dude does pull some chicks. No joke, he parties with some fine bitches at least 10-12 times per week and still makes time to go out and butter the gnar.

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  2. this kid sounds ghey. He is probably a tree huggin hippie. Well, my friend take your tight jeans back to hornietown with all your beat racer chasers female and male.

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  3. The kid is ghey, he loves trees.. I saw him hugging a tree one time and I said "Your Ghey" even exagerrated the "h" in the ghey. Your right Ghary. GHARY I like the way that sounds..

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