Wednesday, January 5, 2011

BRObal Warming? Do I LOOK Like An Asshole?

Ok, to start off, this post has nothing to do with motocross. This is a Me article, for my benefit, to fulfill my needs as an angry and serious manly man. I need to vent about this and unfortunately for you readers, this is the only blog I have. You know what, scratch that original statement, because global warming does affect motocross, it just affects it positively, especially for those of us in the northeast where it is currently a refreshing 30 degrees out. People are all afraid of it, but look at that fucking picture, have you ever seen a planet so happy to be melting? Ok, moving on. I regularly peruse Transworld's business site,, which is just a site that keeps me up-to-date on the goings on of the business arm of the action sports world. Today, I happened upon this article by professional snowboarders Gretchen Bleiler and Jeremy Jones giving us all a call to action to fight climate change. They go through the whole spiel about how corporate America is solely governed by the almighty dollar and that the environment is of no concern to them. First of all, that should be pretty obvious to you all by now. Of course businesses care about money, that is literally the reason that they exist, for the most part. Sure the environment is great, but it doesn't pay very well. These are truths, folks, like it or not. But that's not what I'm here to discuss.

I am just getting really sick of hearing all of this bullshit propaganda about how global warming is somehow the fault of big corporations like ExxonMobil. I'm here to present to you a very convenient truth: climate change does indeed exist, but dude, you have nothing to do with it. Let's observe the facts:
  • Many science-types have presented data of the past hundred or so years that shows that the average temperature of the measured areas has increased. Well you want to know something, those measurements are almost always done in cities, where tremendous over development in the past century causes what is called a heat island. Asphalt heats up more than ground when exposed to sunlight, folks. Drainage systems on city streets also send most of the water down the sewers, which means that there is less water to evaporate and absorb heat. Again, these are facts.
  • The major argument about global warming is pretty simple: There is more CO2 in the atmosphere than there used to be. CO2 is a greenhouse gas, which basically means infrared radiation gets in, but it doesn't get out. Again, the lack of a sustained, controlled environment over the past century means one thing: Those numbers are useless. If you're testing CO2 emmissions, you can't do it in New York City from 1900 to 2000. You might as well have tested a pro ball player's average hit distance when he was a two year old and then tested it when he was a pro and come to the conclusion that he's on steroids. He probably is, but that's neither here nor there. 
  • And guess what? Though CO2 is a greenhouse gas, a lot of the other shit that we pump into the atmosphere actually reflects radiation back out into space. Congratulations Halliburton, you saved us all. 
  • Did you know that if the Earth really is getting warmer, then that will create more plant life, in water and on land? And what, pray tell, do plants consume? You already know, I don't need to tell you. [whisper]It's CO2[/whisper].
  • Now I'm going to get really sciencey on you. The Earth's orbit and tilt along with the Sun's rotation in relation to the Earth all change, over thousands of years, which TREMENDOUSLY affects the temperature of the Earth. So, over a hundred or so years, depending on where we are in that cycle, it stands to logic that the Earth's temperature would change. Once again, these are facts, look 'em up.
If anyone's head hurts from all of the knowledge I just dropped on you, take an aspirin and don't watch Fraser anytime soon. This has been a daily dose of truth from your good pal, Eazy. Peace.


  1. Bro, CO2 levels are not mostly taken in cities. Measurements are taken from air bubbles trapped in ice cores drilled out of the Arctic. Even in the Arctic, the spikes in CO2 levels positively correlate to major events in human history such as the Industrial Revolution. CO2 doesn't float straight up above NYC and chill there- wind patterns bro, wind patterns.

  2. Ok so I don't agree with your little science lesson here, but that's beside the point. The funny thing is that it's two pro snowboarders that are crying fowl! I wonder how many heli-ski trips they have been on! Nothing help global warming like having your own personal ride up to 10,000 ft. Maybe they can start hiking back up the mountain for all their runs!

  3. Whats even more of a farce is that all of our climate data goes back about 150 years at the max, yet the greenies extrapolate temperature increases and imply we are on a collision course with doom.

    The whole fucking Northern Hemisphere was covered in glaciers, so yeah, this global warming thing was an issue well before modern industrialization.