Wednesday, January 5, 2011

MX in the Mainstream: The X-Life

I'm going to start off with one sentence that everyone needs to read: I'm probably going to watch this show. Like, I can't wait until action sports become popular enough for paparazzi to follow around the athletes until they get knocked the fuck out. It'll just mean a ton of great material for BROtocross, which is at a real bitch of a premium right now. And shows like this are a step in the right direction. Do people really watch all of these Housewives shows? I feel like VH1 and other channels have been shoving these things down our throats a lot in the past year or so. I guess it just stems from the incessant need to see inside other people's lives and recognize their flaws on national television. Other wives need to say to themselves "Well I may just be a stay-at-homer with a cheating deadbeat [rockstar] for a husband, but at least everyone doesn't know it." America, fuck yeah. Anyhoo, I cannot stand that they decided to call this show "The X Life". Hey, let's further perpetuate this term "extreme" that people associate with motocross and other action sports. Terrible, just terrible. It's all thanks to the X-Games. I've said it before, extreme kayak bungee, now THAT is an X-Games sport. And it actually was one of the OG X-Games disciplines. Oh, and there's nothing more badass than calling anything more than five years old "OG". You're welcome.

Do these wives really bitch that much about how these guys live their lives? Honestly, what do you expect? It's really hypocritical, too, because they know what got them all hot for these guys back in the day, and it damn sure wasn't their calm and consistent lifestyle. It was the fact that at any moment the dude could end up a vegetable in the hospital bed and you could just say "Thanks for the dick, I'll be on my way, now". But you had to go and start a family, ladies. You made your bed, now lie in it.

Captain Obvious here to say that these girls are pretty good looking. I feel like being a professional athlete automatically earns you at least one smokeshow of a wife. Like, professional anything. That Japanese guy who eats the hot dogs has probably got a dime piece of an Asian waiting for him at home. Listen, I'm going to amend my Moto Hoe argument: Every girl is the same, track slut or not. They all love fame, because fame equates to power, and they go bananas for that shit. If only I could get my hands on a nuclear weapon, then I'd have power up the yin-yang...


  1. "When we go out to dinner, it's to talk about his next race"

    Fuckin Freestyle, really, really??? Talk about his race, you mean the event he shows up hungover at and revs his bike at and does a whole whopping 10 jumps.

    Fuck you and your stupid life...


  2. I'll be watching it -cuz I've been a Twitch fan since day one on Crusty Demons.
    I'm no free style fan , but I'm for sure a fan of that guy