Monday, March 7, 2011

Head to Head: Pro Joe Of Daytona

Taking all votes, the polls are open. We are looking for which rider you think whiffed it so hard at Daytona that a malnourished refugee from Darfur might have made it look a little bit better. The contenders for this one are shaping up for a pretty fierce match up.


First up is Brett Metcalfe. Ooh, tough break, big guy. He's one that I do usually like to watch. He's got game outdoors, but indoors hasn't really come together for Metty. At Daytona, he wadded up right in front of Canard, and once again my sense of hearing transcended the broadcast into Trey's helmet as I heard him shout "Fucking A, joey." Not even anything that Metcalfe did especially wrong, but you can't defend yourself when you fall and wrap up another rider's night in the process, unless you were making a pass on the last lap for the win. Then of course, on the same lap, Metcalfe had a crash that obliged me to literally say out loud "That was the biggest novice crash by a factory rider I've ever seen." He lands in the sand and apparently forgets that the gas is on the right because he sinks that motherfucker like a Somalian pirate dingy. Of course, Metcalfe may have been taking notes from his acclaimed best buddy, Damon J. Smith.


The challenger, or maybe he's the returning champ, is of course Mike Alessi. The letting Stewart by thing has already been covered. It was a Joe-ment for sure. I can see Roger just looking down, hands over his face, when that happened. But Mike was given the blue flag, of course, so maybe he's not the winner of this match up. But wait, let us not forget that in the heat race, he jammed the gate by a solid two seconds. Fro tries to come up with some sort of explanation because it's his job, but it's pretty simple to realize that if the pin jumped at all, about half the gate would have been stuck there like a bunch of dolphins in a Japanese fishing net. I don't have the faintest idea what happened to Alessi there, but I do know that it was C rider material.

Polls are closed because it was slowing shit down like a bitch.

Final Tally:
Brett Metcalfe - 29%
Mike Alessi - 71%

9 comments:

  1. Neither. Second video, fast forward to 11:50. Mofo falls over mounting his bike. I know he just ate shit but come one BRO.

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  2. @Scott, no way. His fender blocked his foot and he was way out after rocking his head, plus he was exhausted.
    I think the only Joe moment there was you saying, "come one BRO."
    I mean really, come on BRO.

    But definitely Alessi, and I say that because he's been a pro Joe all year.

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  3. Hey Joke,
    Were you out there? Pretty sure you were sitting on your ass somewhere wishing you had enough balls to ride a section of daytona.

    Your a joke and a BRO

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  4. YOU'RE the joke. Jesus people did you even to brolementary school?

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  5. Hey fuck head Derek almy was about as good as Damon j smith aka a fuckin hazard on the track.

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  6. oh and hey dee0991 it would be "did you even GO to " and "brolementary school" you serious right now bro? think about what ur saying before you speak.

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  7. Lol Hey fellas this is Derek it is a shame you were not out there with me, I am sure you would have shown me how to do it. You see not only am I out there having more fun on a bike then any of the other idiots who did not make it. Why would I not I don't pay for it and neither does my family so why hate someone who is living the dream you are obviously very jealous of. I am not living my life to be a under paid professional motocross racer. So continue hating as I continue to laugh people like you are great you bring me personal gratification as it shows your envious of me.

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