Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Some Eazy Advice For James Stewart - Play The Numbers

Ok, just one more post on a day that will surely live in infamy; March 29th: The Day That James Got Arrested. The Fastest Man In The Yard.

Here's where you went wrong, James. You just got a little too confident; you gambled just a touch too far. Sort of like a guy who wins a hand of blackjack and decides that it's time to bet the kids on the next hand. That's how they get you, chief. That's how they get you. Mack Attack, you went with the red and blue lights. Wrong move, BRO. It's understandable why James tripped up; the signature cop colors definitely promise the highest percentage of yahoos getting the fuck out of the way. The issue is that you run the highest risk in running the red and blue. James, you bet the kids, now they're going to live at the casino. It's not as fun as it sounds. A savvy gambler would go with the yellow or the white strobes, dude. There are so many possibilities for a fake persona that the herd of sheep in most traffic jams will assume to you. You might not have as many people pulling over for you, but you won't have as many off-duty cops calling you in and making national headlines. It's a game of give and take; is the juice worth the squeeze? Finally, with the yellow and white strobes, you had better bet that no dumb cop will say that your truck doesn't fit the police vehicle profile. Ever heard of Walker Texas Ranger, bitch?

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