Why Does Eazy Hate Two Strokes?

I just thought that picture was funny. I mean, those are bicycles, right?

I've had multiple people ask me why I hate two strokes, and I decided that it's time to set the record straight. I actually love two strokes. I'll hop on a 125 and be ripping and whipping till the day goes away. It's fun, I'm not here to argue that. Here's what I hate: People who love two strokes a little bit more than they love their ugly families. You know, the people who claim that four stroke technology is the worst thing to happen to the world since Adolf Hitler and Satan had a man-love baby named Miley Cyrus (just kidding, I love Miley). These are the people who say that it is impossible to have fun on a 250f or 450, the people who would sooner stop riding all together than buy into the current peak of the MX technology pyramid. They piss me off because all they do is bitch about how bad four strokes are for the sport. Why? Price and cost is the major factor to their argument, but give me a fucking break. Go buy a 250f from '09 for about $3500. It's not difficult, and if it is, send yourself off a bridge because you are a detriment to the progress of humanity. And sure, no one will argue that it's not more expensive to fix a blown four stroke. You know what? Deal with it. If you blow up bikes on the regular, then more power to you, two stroke guy. Why the fuck don't you take a step back and consider the possibility that cooking bikes on a weekly basis is kind of a problem?

I have to wonder if this type of person existed with every advancement of technology throughout the years. Would you assholes have been the ones who were riding horse-drawn carriages at the beginning of the 20th century saying "Those darned automobiles have totally taken the fun out of traveling down a road. And doggone it, are they expensive!" That's right, you all are the Amish of the motocross world. Congratulations. If everyone exercised a similar thought process, we would probably be walking around still trying to figure out why fire was less fun than the cold or why the wheel was just too expensive to justify using it. The fact is that two strokes won't exist in a few years, so you motherfuckers are going to be shit out of luck. Have fun at the VFW reminiscing about that last time you got a BROner when you mixed oil into your gas. Four strokes aren't fun? You know what's really not fun? Getting beat to the first turn by about 3-4 seconds because the bike you're riding has the torque of a 1950s Cadillac in desperate need of a tranny rebuild. Oh, you don't race? Then get the fuck off this website. Racers only, bitch. I'm going to leave you to ponder a little something from my BROmie George Bernard Shaw, who said “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” Suck it, BROs. Eazy, out.