Tuesday, October 19, 2010

BROto Salute to Homeschool



Ah yes, the unrelenting institution of learning that is homeschool. Where, oh where, I ask, would our sport be without the wondrous discovery that a child may cease to attend the desolate brick and mortar location of a normal educational facility to gain sight of the unlimited potential that homeschooling provides. Wake up at 11? Sure, you don't have to be anywhere, and without all that pesky reading and work that the drones of the normal school system are forced to do, you have all the time in the world to Google the answers to all of your exams. Don't even feel like doing that? Then fuck those exams, you are going to be a professional athlete anyways, you don't need to poison your brain with facts like where the Geneva Convention was held or who wrote the Diary of Anne Frank. Just answer every multiple choice with C, and on the open ended questions just write "That's what she said". If anything at all, you will get more points for making the computer laugh.

Homeschool has become a staple part of the motocross community. I would say that it would be a great business idea to have a mobile school that goes to all the amateur nationals and even practice tracks, but then kids would just decide that was too much and focus instead on racing through double homeschool. Seriously, I have heard a lot of people complaining that going to homeschool and dropping out are one in the same, which is entirely untrue. You see, most kids that drop out of school actually end up getting jobs, or at least selling that crack-cocaine, then they are caking up that cash. Not homeschoolers. They don't need to make money now, because all that paper is stacking up in the sponsors' wallets just waiting to burst out into their hands. It'll happen, you'll see.

Of course, here I am fresh out of a respected 4-year institution of higher learning (it's called college, homeschool) and I am making 100% commission on shit. Every kid who actually has gone pro is laughing at me all the way to the bank. Their mechanics work on their bikes while their hot girlfriends work on their wieners. So a salute to you, homeschoolers who turned out pro, because you have made me and my college degree look like a fucking asshole. Thanks

6 comments:

  1. Spell check doesn't fix bad grammar.. You have about as much "college" education as a retarded chimpanzee.. Facts!

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  2. Haha, whatever you say, Xerxes

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  3. I noticed no mistakes ... maybe because I was laughing my ass off the entire time!
    hahaha,

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  4. This stuff is cracking me up

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  5. This is by far the best thing I have EVER read!

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