Friday, January 7, 2011

A1 Fantasy Breakdown: 450 Class. Who ya got?

It's Friday, just one more cycle of the Earth's rotation before the day the 2011 Supercross series begins in Cali. You all know who's going to kill it in the 250 class, because I explained it to you already. Now let's get to the big boys. This class was not quite as obvious in terms of mortal locks as the 250 class, which wasn't fucking obvious at all so let that metric wrap around your little engine of a brain. You might be thinking, "Wait, bro, I think it's way more obvious who's going to do well in the 450s. Just get Dungey, Stewart, Villopoto, Reed and you're set, grab a smoke and a pancake." Hey chief, that's a technique and you can stick to it if you want. But I have several points to bring up, so let's get to the breakdown of team BROtocross 450.

You know my technique from the 250 class: Play the handicaps. Can't lose, right? Well, such is not always the case, and the handicaps for this 450 class are a bigger mindfuck than Criss Angel that time he fucked some girl with his mind (you know, that may or may not have happened. I don't remember). For me, there was no obvious choice at all. I even strayed from the iron-clad game plan I had established and picked one of the heavy hitters who sees no benefit from the handicapping system. Ryan Dungey was the first choice for me, to captain my team and lead us through the trenches. It was a toss up between him and Canard, I was back and forth like an epic game of Pong. Canard actually is a +1 handicap, but in the end that was just too low for me to put my apples in his basket. Like, I see Dungey beating Canard, and if that happens, no matter what, there is no potential benefit to having Trey over Ryan in this race. Why not Stewart, Villopoto, or Reed? Let's be real here - Stewart is coming into this race as kind of a wild card. As it turns out, he's got himself in a pretty shitty situation. He's either going to come out and win or he's a failure. And that's all there is to it. Villopoto is looking at a similar scenario, minus the failure part. But he could win, he could not, we don't really have any idea. He hasn't raced in almost a year. No matter how fast he has been at the practice track, he hasn't practiced probably the most important part of his job: racing. I need to see his cards before I can make the judgment call to put him in the starting roster. Reed is a great rider, but this striking out on his own thing is a little unsettling. He's on new equipment that could blow up in his face at any moment, how the hell do we know? Not to mention the TweetHate that he dished out either earlier this week or last week, about Kawasaki. I don't remember it exactly, and I'm not going to go find it, but it was something along the lines of "Just found out about Kawi's choice of equipment, soooo happy I left #killingit #radnuggets", which is in reference to the factory Kawasaki team going to FMF instead of Pro Circuit for exhausts (what's up with that, anyways?). You may read hate, but in my mind I'm seeing one thing: insecurity. As if he has to rationalize not being on a factory team. Now if he gets beat by that FMF exhaust, guess what, he's going to look like a prick. And Chad knows this. Why would you add more weight to your already weak shoulders, Chad? And you may be saying to your computer "Well Eazy, you make fun of people all the time, is that insecurity, too?" Short answer: yes. On the inside, I am just a weak little fawn doing my best to stand up in a world that's always trying to put me down...

Ok, that was a lot of chatter to only reveal one of my team riders. My next choice was Kevin Windham. Windham, like Canard, is only a +1, so the potential to see excess points is not too great. But are you going to bet against this guy? Ok, me neither. I feel like he podiums this race every year, even though each year since '04 he's supposed to have been the washed up old guy. On my next two choices I am definitely playing the handicaps. YES, I love this system! My two picks for probably-top-fives-so pencil-Eazy-in-for-podium-points were Ivan Tedesco and Josh Grant. Each rider is a +3. Ivan has been documented this off-season as absolutely killing it on his murdered out Hart bike, so I like that +3 sweetener. And don't you forget that Grant won A1 in '09 because James and Chad exploded all over each other (uh huh, enjoy that visual). Both of these guys present at least top six potential, I'd say, and for this guy, that means podiums. Money money money mon-AY.

So that's it, get your picks in at and watch your team get decimated by mine. Unless you decide to copy my squad, in which case I expect to see some royalties, you cheapskate.


  1. Eazy,
    Better make sure you completely understand the rules of fantasy MX. Now being enough of a fantasy tool to garner a consideration for a spot on "The League" on FX (which is hilarious and I recommend you watch it), it appears you have over looked the HOT rider rule. Any rider on the hot list (listed in red on the selection page) gets double points for any top 10 finish. Most of the riders you mention are not on said list, and even though they do get a handicap bonus, the thought of double points is also attractive. Good luck!!!

  2. Well Anonymous, that's what I get for not reading the rules. But seriously, who does that? I'm a man. I am an anchorman. Ok, not really, but you get the picture. I have since amended my team to include Stroupe and Millsaps (Both are so HOT right now)instead of Grant and Tedesco.

    And listen BRO, don't think I don't watch The League religiously. I get my vinegar strokes off to that shit.