Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Does This Look Like #490 From That Video? And The Author Of Don't Stop The Swagger?

DamonJSmith.com and TheMXShow.com

Shut the fuck up. This is the guy from the video. It definitely is. I can't believe it, but it is. Just the best thing that could ever happen. I was fully expecting some old guy with a fierce handlebar mustache or something, getting off the track and sipping a cold budweiser before he even gets his helmet off. But instead I find this guy, who was apparently a pro football player? Can someone confirm that? I skimmed his bio, which really includes very little about riding dirtbikes. Damon apparently didn't start riding until four years ago, which is fully believable after consulting the video evidence. What I'm trying to figure out here is how the fuck did this guy get on the track? The AMA system needs some serious looking at if he actually managed to get the points for his pro license. He must have just hit every fucking race west of the Mississippi and got 20th over and over and over. Do yourself a favor and read some of the shit on the guy's websites. And someone HAS to send me a copy of Don't Stop The Swagger. Please.
You have to look on the MX show website and see the statistic on the homepage:  
In only 61 races, Damon has amassed:
- 36 podium appearances
- 13 wins
- 49 top fives
 Uh, listen bro, a podium is only a podium if you actually stand on a podium after the race. You know what? Fuck that, it's only a podium if you do it at an AMA pro race. Not pro-am. Pro. Getting third place when you show up to a race in fucking Spokane with four people and one DNFs is not a podium. Take a look at his statistics page, too. The graphic on it has just no place being there. Not to mention there are about five actual stats, then like thirty favorites (psst, those aren't your stats. They are your BROpinions). I absolutely guarantee that Damon uses a video resume not unlike this:

9 comments:

  1. "Over the course of three months he traveled to Albuquerque, New Mexico; Salt Lake City, Utah; Reno, Nevada; Boise, Idaho and Spokane, Washington in an effort to earn his AMA points and Pro License."

    This not only shows that money can get you a pro license since this dude drove 20,000 miles to get his and that the west coast produces some aweful riders if this guy actually accumulated 75 points and people like Matt Fisk havnt earned enough points yet.

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  2. The dude has a wikipedia page. wow.

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  3. The guy likes Air wheelies, check out his videos. Anaheim 2 Triple was his accomplishment.

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  4. Look fuck head. I promise this guy has more to his name than a stupid "free" blog. Why don't you get off your fucking mac book and attempt to do something with your life. No one cares that you can criticize people over an ethernet connection. This guys is trying to do something with his life. The funny part is you've been riding motorcycles your whole life and still suck, this guys a football player and he'd kick your ass blindfolded backwards. I don't know, i'm rambling now. I guess I just wanted to let you know: YOU SUCK AND FUCK YOU. Thanks a ton.

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  5. look at his lap time its actually not the worst, we have to find out who this parker anthony guy is lol. http://results.amasupercross.com/data/2011/04/ltp1ovr.pdf

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  6. Oh my God this shit is too funny. Internet gold right here.

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  7. And he logs on to bash you over it, Eazy. Dude's got swagger...

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  8. haaaaaaaaaaaaa I felt a little bit sorry for the dude in the video because, we've all been to our first indoor race before. However, after this discovery, I feel like you were totally warranted to "compliment" his style. What are the chances we can get an interview with him?

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  9. You're welcome for the tip-off. I've been laughing at this guy for about a year. Check out his youtube vids, apparently he's bros with Hughes and Metcalfe too.

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