Monday, March 21, 2011

Stewart Doesn't Practice Starts. It's Really Working, BRO.

I swear to you, right before the 450 LCQ, I leaned over to the interns and said "Can you imagine if Villopoto pulls the same shit Baggett just did," referring to Blake's joe show in the first turn that would result in him stepping from the podium every race to the sidelines for a Coke and a not-smile. Of course, that's exactly what he did, falling in the first turn, and then again in a hilarious fashion as he tried to mow down a couple of tough blocks to re-enter the track.  He had no shot of making it after that, and Stewie must have had to brace himself to keep from climaxing right there on the spot. Like, Villo just said "Hey, is that a door? Maybe I should open it."

But then the BRO Show found himself buried in the middle of the pack in the first turn, and only seconds later, as a landing for Goerke's 450. When that happened, obviously the reactions in the press box were all over the map, as were the thoughts running through my immaculately constructed brain. But the one that I can't shake is something James said on a recent episode of his reality[?] show, "Bubba's World", right here:

Honestly, he was probably full of shit, but the irony of the situation is so palpable that Helen fucking Keller is still 'tard laughing about it. Hey Bubs, maybe you should practice starts, because everytime you've been hurt in the past couple of years, it could have been prevented with a good start. You suck at starts but still beat everyone to the first turn? Um, that would be called a good start, BRO. Give it a shot sometime.

No comments:

Post a Comment