Don't Go Slow, BRO

It's time to get back to the roots of BROtocross: Rants about shit that pisses me off. It's no secret that I love a good moto video. It is also no secret that I hate a shitty moto video. We as the internet viewing public are inundated with a barrage of "MyNumber Productions" videos that vastly occupy the latter category. But why? What makes a video shitty, Eazy? The full breakdown would be way too much for your Dori-from-Finding-Nemo (love that movie!) attention spans, so let's just focus on a piece of the big picture.

Chappelle Show: Slow Motion - watch more funny videos

Slow motion is not cool. It is not your friend; if it could, it would falsify legal documents in your name, thus ruining your credit and your reputation to the good people at FreeCreditReport.com. I am definitely generalizing here, but stick with me. It's probably the cheapest trick in the book. When in doubt - go slow, BRO. Everything looks better in slow motion. It turns every shot from C-grade garbage into A-quality Spielberg shit, right? You get twice as much time to your shots and people think you are one artsy motherfucker with your slow motion and your epic mustache. Got to have a mustache if you're artsy, BRO. But the slow-mo, it's been done to death, and its zombie corpse is still contaminating videos all over the interweb. I could put a video example up here but there are just too many to choose from, to be frank. Sure, a little touch of slow-mo here and there is fine. Often, when using it select places to fit into a certain song or tone works well. But if more than 75% of your shots are slow-mo, walk that shit in front of a loaded gun and make sure you are standing right behind it. It doesn't make your shots look better, it just makes you look lazy and your video look like amateur hour at a dimly lit strip club. Just. Stop it.