Tuesday, April 26, 2011

When Was Someone Going To Tell Me That Kyle Loza is Married To Audrina's Sister?

This is going to be such a shitty post if I was the only one who was out of the loop on this. But, fuck it, I'm going for it. BROtocross has been getting a larger following from the ladies, so maybe they'll enjoy this. So just read on, be open minded, and try to ignore the fact that if you read this aloud, you technically just said "butt fuck it".

You see, secretly I've always wanted this to turn into one of those gossip blogs. That Perez Hilton motherfucker makes a lot of loot doing a pretty goddamn easy job. I could do that shit all day long, one hand behind my back and the other holding a big can of whatever energy drink paid me the most. So when I'm learning that not only is Kyle Loza married to Audrina Patridge's sister, but is also a character on her reality show, I'm liking it. Let's get this train a-rolling. Of course, this is wicked old news to anyone who actually keeps up with this type of shit, so I may be a little late to the train. Moving on, this Audrina chick is one of the finest products an MTV (right?) reality show has ever produced, and to be honest, when I first heard that Loza was on her show, I thought that he was banging her. Instantly, I was honored to call him a fellow MX rider. Of course, I was quickly brought down from that Kilimanjaro level of pride when I found out he is only with her sister. Still doing pretty well, BRO, but not going platinum. But at least you're getting more TV time. Sponsorship value, BRO!

I still get into it when MX integrates with the mainstream, no matter what the circumstances. Honestly, I'm not really the biggest fan of Loza's riding. Best Trick BROs are not my cup of tea. But if he's freaking out people in Audrina's circle on the regular with his tight jeans, face tattoos, and odd number of piercings, I say good on ya, BRO.


  1. Fuck Kyle Loza. He aint no rider.

  2. I first heard this mentioned on the x-games broadcast then they were both featured in a tattoo magazine. Yeah she's hot.