Monday, May 2, 2011

Ok, Someone Please Call James A [Better] Shrink

Tough hit, James. Tough hit. I must take this opportunity to again address the fact that Stewart washes the front end more often on the track than his mechanic does in the pits. He needs a riding coach and he needs one yesterday. Stewart's claim to fame was of course "Win or crash" before "Fastest Man On The Planet™". But back in the day, that was actually good, because he usually won. Five wins in 16 starts? And honestly the statistic still remains fairly solid; when Bubbles doesn't win, it's usually because he crashes. Eleven races where crashing was an issue? I know he didn't actually crash in all of them, but he either crashed or rode like complete shit. The fact is that Stewart is the Fastest Man On The Planet™. I know it sounds pretty lame, probably in the same vein as speaking of yourself in the third person, but it's true. Villopoto is not as fast as him in a 100% perfect race between the two, not a chance. He's close, but just a smidgen off the pace. You don't agree? Well, you're wrong, BRO. All there is to it. Call up Left Handers Anonymous because you ain't right.

I've also said this before, but James needs to get out of his own damn head. I think he might actually be a fucking schizophrenic or something crazy like that. Just listen to him speak on the podium. It's getting weird. Like, my serial killer radar is starting to pick up something when I hear James speak. Dude, either kill someone or don't. Actually, Villopoto has the guns, maybe he's on to something here. The perfect remedy to race-anxiety is to blow something off the face of the earth. I don't envy the next poor, degraded mofo that James pulls over...Regardless, sounds like James really just needs to take some advice from RC and "burn one down." Ha, Carmichael's a baker boy. Love iiiit!


  1. burn one down! woah

  2. 100% agree with you! james is "the fastest man on the planet" but im sorry that DOES NOT make you a champion, BRO.