Monday, January 3, 2011

BROto Salute to Training Facilities

Fear not, public, BROtocross is back in full operation, coming in hot in 2011. It was a nice break, yes, but now you are all subject to my mind and my ability to mindlessly rant again. The inspiration for this one struck me when I was writing the Rockstar Russian post. Where would the world of MX be without the TFs? Could you imagine a world filled with parents who still have money in their wallets and kids who actually possess some sort of social conscience outside of the motorhome? I shudder to think of such a place. Where else could you market your service as a place where dreams are made reality when really it is a place where dreams go to die? A place where Joey Novice can have the same training program as Justin Barcia, but with absolutely no chance in hell of making it half as far. And they know, kids, they know. The TF staff probably knows within the first hour or so if a rider actually can walk the walk. But it doesn't matter, such is the wonder of the training facility. It is an environment where 90% of the battle is writing the check. America, the beautiful. And do we blame the people running these facilities? Nope. How can you? Listen, if the opportunity exists, milk it for every penny. Colleen struck gold when her kid made it big, and she saw that. Then she struck platinum with riders like Davalos and Barcia. Now she cannot go wrong. Even a guy like Steve Clarke, who supposedly could not even ride before showing up at Colleen's doorstep (what the fuck were his parents thinking? They basically bought a lotto ticket, won $1000, then used that to buy 100 tickets and won on every one of them. Lucked out). Talk about being in the fucking driver's seat. Colleen could tell riders to eat a fiberglass pancake with a side of razor blades and they would do it, no questions asked. And if a rider gets out of line, just call the parents and they will straighten that bitch out like those anti-gay church nazis. I mean, they leveraged the farm to send the kid there, if he's not doing work, things are going to get ugly.

Sure, I'm mostly focusing on MTF, but make no mistake, the copycats are out there in full force. Shit, I think everybody with a turn track and a treadmill decided to throw in the TF after their last initial and make that shit official. All it takes is one good rider coming out of it and BAM, dollar signs. Former pros now have constant job security. They used to be on top, so naturally they should be the ones telling other riders how to do it. I have to say, I find it a little odd that guys who were winning championships when the bikes only ran on downhills because gas wasn't invented yet are coaching riders now. The game has changed so much since they were the players that it's hard to believe that they actually still know what they are talking about. But you know who doesn't find it odd? Daddy Dollars and Mommy Moneybags. If you've got a number one plate from 1923, you've got a biz in grooming the next epic success story. And if you fail, no one's the wiser, the kid probably just didn't have it in him, right? RIGHT? God, what a sweet racket. Whoever said that being a pro rider won't make you money forever was a damned fool.

Just a quick thought, because I don't know too much about it, but Weinert Training Facility? WTF? Good God, get the screeners warmed up, get those shirts printed STAT. I know it's unfortunate but the fact of the matter is that cyber lingo has become more well known than the King's English in America, so everyone is thinking the same damn thing. What the fuck.


  1. What would be even crazier is to put that money towards college seeing Joey Novice's racing career is never going anywhere.