Thursday, January 13, 2011

Stewart's 3rd Place - Second Loser Has Never Meant So Much

At Anaheim, James Stewart finished in third. Just let that sink in for a minute. A few people have said "Oh, good for James, he rode a smart race." Well, not this guy. Listen, for literally anyone else on the track, a third in your comeback race is not only good, it's downright impressive. But this is James Stewart. The guy who went 24-0 outdoors in '08 and probably burned about 50 calories a moto doing it. It is nothing if not delusional to say that Stewart isn't the most naturally gifted rider to ever make a career out of motocross. I say that last part because, really, think about the odds of the most naturally gifted person ever even discovering his abilities. There are probably people in the world (in India or China, most likely, just by the numbers) who possess the genetic capacity to ride a motorcycle in a way that would make Stewart look like a mouse trying to wriggle it's way out of a snake's ninja grip. Ever think about that? Statistically, it's nearly impossible for it not to be true. In a world of 6 billion people, not even a million ride motocross at least once in their life, most likely. That is less than .017% of the world's population who actually do discover (for the sake of argument, you discover in one try, ok?) their ability, or lack thereof, on a dirtbike. You know what, I'm heading to India with a 450 and just letting those little motherfuckers go bananas. One of them will kill it, and I'll be his manager. Cha. Ching.

But once again, I've moved way beyond the initial point that I set out to make. James Stewart needs to be winning. Just top 3 is not good enough. He has actually said in interviews that he almost never gives it 100% at the races, and you know what, I believe that. But if you're going to talk that talk, regardless of the truth of the matter, you better be simultaneously walking that walk. The guy needs to be winning, no question about it. Winning every damn race. It's time to get it together, Bubba, because the lowest step on the podium only makes you look shorter, and you know that the honeys don't dig on the short guys. Stewart just needs to get out of his own head and realize that, with a relative ease, he can just cruise around the track and still beat everyone.


  1. Natural talent doesn't always win races, Bro. If it did JLaw would still be bangin models and twistin throtles.

  2. lol bring on the Chinese MotoX Master, chuck him on a 500