Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Wait, BRO, What Day Is It?

Since it's 4/20, I obviously figured it was appropriate to give you all some chooch related content. I've addressed this subject a little before, but I'm not really going to do too much talking about pros smoking this time. I was just perusing the Google looking for stuff for the extra special 4/20 BROtacular celebration, and I stumbled onto this post. Some guy on a stoner blog who happens to ride decided to do a review of riding after having smoked the ganj. Now, I don't ever smoke, so certainly I've not done this before. But I have several friends who swear by it. Seriously, getting flared and hitting the track gives them a towering fucking BROner. But, they are a bunch of baker boys so they'll say anything while high is the balls; not really the strongest references. This dude decided to provide us with a detailed play-by-play of the experience, and honestly it's pretty good. Might look like a lot to read, but seriously, I enjoyed his take and got through it rather quickly. So without further ado, and if you're not too jones'd out to read, check out the Reefer Review of Riding.

One of the greatest things about weed that I’m sure all smokers can attest to is how it makes almost every activity better in some way. From the sedentary lifestyle of sitting in front of the TV or computer screen to getting outside and exercising, everything just seems better. And, to most of us, we can do these things without much sacrifice to skill level or reflexes.

So, with this in mind, I decided to combine my two loves: marijuana and motocross. To protect my identity, I won’t release the information about my bike. But know that I’m an intermediate level rider (to the layman, this is, in MX racing class terms, the level just under pro or expert) who has over ten years of riding and racing experience under his belt. My bike is a finely tuned race machine, and under inexperienced hands it has the capability to cause serious harm.

The weed used was some fine dank. I remember it clearly, because you don’t come across blueberry often. The high was strong, but pretty energetic, so I was confident that I would have the motivation to ride. I wasn’t so sure how my competence on the bike would fair, but I was hoping for an exciting time.
Before I go on, I would like to mention that, contrary to popular belief, motocross is a very physically and mentally demanding sport. Many are under the impression that you just sit down, twist the throttle, and the bike does the rest for you. We aren’t on a highway, and we aren’t riding Harleys. Motocross is compared to soccer in terms of physical exhaustion, and is as mentally demanding, or more so, than F1 racing. With my rant out of the way, let’s continue.

I arrived around mid-day, probably about 11:30 am. I immediately pulled out my pipe and smoked an entire bowl of the tasty blueberry. I waited a few minutes for it to take full effect, and suited up in the mean time. Getting on the bike, my heart was racing. I had done this a thousand times, but the blueberry was making me very paranoid and anxious. When I started the bike, however, all those anxious thoughts instantly reversed.

I was no longer nervous, but I had tons of energy. I started to ride around the track slowly, partly to warm up myself and my bike for the ride, and also to check out the track, so nothing was a surprise. I noticed that it was a perfect day. The sky was clear, with a few happy, white clouds up in the sky. It was getting very hot, something I strangely adore. I’m going to guess that it was probably about 94˚ at this point.

The deep sound of my exhaust was crisp and throaty. My bike was warmed up, and I was ready to go. I started to go at racing speed, and the movements came naturally. I felt very in tune with the bike, and the experience was bettered by the weed. I didn’t feel distracted or impaired whatsoever, though I have no lap times to confirm this.

Every lean into a corner felt to be in slow motion. I could micromanage my riding with incredible ease. I don’t know if this actually improved my speed, but it did make me ride smoother, which is a definite plus. I was looking forward to the jumps, knowing how well everything else was going. Coming up to the first big one, I was more nervous than usual, and I hesitated slightly on the throttle. This wasn’t a problem, however; as when I finally grew some balls, I was able to add enough speed to clear it with ease.

Something I think about quite often while high is how it would feel to fly. Well I suppose it would take a hang glider to actually achieve this sort of idea, but I did get pretty close while riding. Much like the corners were in slow motion, so were the jumps. I had a great feeling of weightlessness, but I was also very tight in the air. When in the air you want to be as loose as possible, so you can correct any effects the wind, or anything else might have on you. It was difficult to loosen up, so I would say the weed definitely impaired that aspect of riding.

Yes, I was feeling good, and riding somewhere around average. The experiment was coming along quite nicely, but, sadly, it seems all good things must come to an end. As the lap progressed, and my adrenaline was growing, I could feel the weed high slipping away. By halfway through only the second lap, it was completely gone.

So what’s my final verdict? Marijuana and motocross, though great separately, and alliterating quite nicely together, just can’t be mixed. I believe that a less sativa dominant strain, which might impair my physical abilities, could be very dangerous. Not being able to loosen myself up in the air is enough of a problem that if I couldn’t fix it, I wouldn’t want to ride high very often even if I could.

I’d give riding while high a 5/10. If you’re a competent motocrosser, you should do it, but probably just once. In such a high risk environment as a motocross track, it’s just irresponsible to add extra obstacles. That said, I intend to try riding on LSD sometime in the future, so maybe that will fare some intriguing results.


  1. I feel like this is something Chris O'neal would do/say

  2. That fucking clown wouldn't have the ability to write this.

  3. an Intermediate level in Cali is like a pro in the rest of the world, right?

  4. The best part:

    "That said, I intend to try riding on LSD sometime in the future"