Monday, May 16, 2011

Wait, There Was A Race This Weekend?

You see, like any good American, I was wholeheartedly unaware that an unAmerican series was racing this weekend, albeit on native soil. The Euros decided to put on some sort of exhibition act between our outdoor testing for Hangtown.

Seriously though, Glen Helen had the USGP this weekend, and I think a solid three or four US riders did it. Some random fucking casino or hotel or rehab center or something decided to put up $100,000 for any US rider to win the MX1 (Euro for 450) class. Solid idea, right? Totally, BRO, except the only guys who have a really solid shot of winning that class would be giving up a lot more than $100k should anything happen in that moto. Of course, not riding because you're afraid of getting hurt is for little fairy boys. So I'm at kind of a tough crossroads here. Making fun of people promoting the USGP versus making fun of the American riders. I know the Americans have to pay out of pocket to race the GP, but cry me a fucking river, dude. Fact is that racing the week before the opening race and getting beat would kill the shit out of your odds in the books, and no one needs that. So no top rider would risk it. Tough hit.

I lied before, I knew there was a race. I even watched MX2. Live. Didn't pay. Suck it, MX-Life. $5 for a race is not a good deal. If I actually thought some of that was being passed down to the riders, I might think about it. But honestly, I'd have to actually see the cash going into their hands to believe that FIM was really being charitable. Same reason I don't donate a dollar to children in Indonesia when I go to Burger King. I'm not paying for the hotel for the relief trip, assholes. So stop being cheap fucks and broadcast the races for free. Here's a summary of what I saw because no one really cares about GPs anyway once it's American Outdoors time:

- Roczen absolutely shut everyone down (including me when he simply replied "nope" to the Can I Officially Name Ken Roczen The Justin Bieber Of Motocross post)

-Herlings also shut down everyone other than Roczen. Their collective ages are less than Kevin Windham's, I'm pretty sure.

-It's weird how Osborne is only good when he rides GPs. Not even saying GP riders are slow, he beats good guys. Guess some people just need the techno at the starting gate and the zero purse money to compete.

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