Thursday, June 2, 2011

Former Factory Rider Arrested Burglarizing Homes While "Searching For His Lost Dog"


PLATTEKILL — Two brothers are in jail after they used a lost dog story as a cover for a string of residential burglaries in the town, authorities said.

Town of Plattekill police  arrested Aaron Mills, 20, and Ryan Mills, 24, both of Plattekill, on Thursday. Aaron Mills was charged with five counts of burglary, a felony; Ryan Mills was charged with two counts.

Police said the two, working together, knocked on doors on a pretext of looking for their missing dog. If no one answered, the duo kicked in doors and stole jewelry and electronics, police said.

Their luck finally ran out when Aaron accidentally dropped a photo of Ryan, posing with the dog, at a home on Orchard Drive that they had burglarized. The homeowner turned the photo over to the investigating officer, who quickly identified Ryan, according to police.


Of course, the old "Have you seen my dog" routine. The Mills boys are really showing some initiative and ingenuity here, if I don't say so myself. They came up with a whole back story, and even had the picture to go with it. The picture is so key. I'll bet Ryan was all dolled up and the dog was just the most adorable thing you've ever seen.

Here's where they fucked up: Don't carry an actual goddamn picture, BRO. This is the 2010s, we are experiencing unparalleled technological breakthroughs on a daily basis and you're carrying around a fucking Polaroid. That's called a paper trail, and you're better than that. iPhone dude. I'm sure you stole enough of them to snag one for yourself. Just throw the pic on there and boom, one less thing to worry about. You let your guard down for one second in this game and it will bite you clean on the ass like it's your imaginary dog. Time to go back to doing shitty at Nationals, BRO. At least it doesn't hurt your ass as much.

8 comments:

  1. HELL THE DUDE WON A MOTO OUTDOORS FOR KTM!! WHAT A FUCK HEAD!

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  2. hahahaha this makes J-law seem like real straight shooter hahahaha

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  3. "this is the 2010's"?? damn and the whole time i thought we were in 2011...

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  4. Honda, you're an idiot if you don't understand that.

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  5. i won nationals before BRO...Atleast i made it that far and made enough money to hire u as my gardiner ...haha....Stay up people

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  6. my names dumbass fuck up and i approve this message :D

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  7. FREE DAT NIGGGA ARRON o_O

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