Thursday, February 17, 2011

Tattoo of the Week, BRO

 Maybe a little off topic at first glance, but stay with me here. What exemplifies BROtocross more than a tattoo? Like, the pinnacle of your BROhood is the ink injected into your skin, no? We've all seen the assholes who run the Fox head tattoo or the superman seat grab tat, but this one just blew me away. This belongs to current pop 15-minuter T-Pain, and it is doing its damn job, which is getting a fucking reaction; albeit a negative one, but who's counting? Probably the BROest tattoo you will ever see on a black man. See, I think a pretty common factor in the decision making process for getting a tattoo is a lack of forward thinking. I'm not anti-tatters or anything, but I'll be a 350-riding, Alessi-loving, 490-sponsoring BRO if every single one of those tramp-stamped bitches doesn't regret that shit by the time they are 50. Of course, there is the distinct possibility that modern technology will have evolved enough by that time to make tattoo removal a rather simple process, so we'll give them a little credit there. But T-Pain, BRO, you have to be shitting me here. Seriously, how long were Friendster and MySpace popular? 5 years? Facebook is way bigger and better, but come on. 15 years down the road, the site will be a distant memory (that is probably a generous amount of time), and T-Painfully Bad will be stuck with a motherfucking "Like" button on himself. Of course, the guy probably has so many tattoos that he'll hate his life over that what's one more? Oh yeah, but that is completely overlooking the fact that getting a Facebook tattoo is the gayest thing ever. I don't "Like" to throw that term around, but seriously, how else can I describe it? A KY Jelly fanny pack tattoo is in the same ballpark. Also an actual KY jelly fanny pack. Awesome dude, now you're giving props to Mark fucking Zuckerberg on your goddamn arm. That's cool. So congrats, BRO, you successfully have made the inaugural BROest Tattoo of The Week.
Thinking about this one on my back, what's up, BROs?

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