Monday, January 31, 2011

A Call To Action For Mike Alessi.


That's right, it's another Alessi post. We're all getting sick of them, but how am I not supposed to talk about the shit that's going on in this guy's 2011 season? You can all just take this for what it's worth, but this past Saturday at Oakland I saw Mike Alessi ride a supercross track in person, for the first time. You know and I know that this kid's mere presence makes me tremble with rage from about 3,000 miles away, but I'm telling you right now that I had my eyes glued on that squirrelly motherfucker for every second of the 450 LCQ. It's not the first time that Alessi hasn't qualified for a main, but this time he got the start, was in position, then lost it. That's about as "not-qualifying" as it gets. The guy rides with a body english that likens him to an abused child when dad has a few too many of his beloved rum-and-beers. He approaches the whoops like there's a fucking big black vibrator taped to his seat. I would bet a huge percentage of my pathetic net worth that he would fail against even solid amateur riders through that section. Like, does he even practice supercross? It's as if he just figures "If I ignore supercross, it will go away," like it's a suspicious growth on his back or something. I'm telling you right now that he doesn't practice whoops, that is a straight up fact. Even in practice, he just rhythmed through them every time. So when it came time to blitz them, he was fucked. And that was in the race. Maybe this kid really does need Tony to hold his hand through everything? DeCoster must be heated, because it's not like Alessi is that bad. I know that I've said he sucks on numerous occasions, but if you saw what I saw on Saturday night, you'd have thought that he was one of those old guys who was grandfathered into the AMA's pro license program and decided to come try out a supercross for shits and gigs (more on them later). Start practicing, Alessi. You literally have no excuse for that performance at Oakland.

4 comments:

  1. haha i was watching that race thinking the same thing, like theres no way he sucks THAT BAD, hell he just let Wey by in the qualifier, maybe he's purposely trying to do shitty to piss roger off, his hatred for him does run pretty deep, his dad must fucking hate him by now

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  2. ya Mike! When Your reputation is in the shitter and your ability is in question by top level team managers, just stop trying! You'll show them!

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  3. Something is seriously wrong here. I think it's kinda sad. He might not have been the best supercross rider in the past, but he was near the front. I used to hate him after he went for the kill switch, or the t-shirt, or...well. But seriously: I don't know how people can continue to pile on at this point. It's like watching JLaw's implosion - so much promise to nothing. Time to hit the classifieds soon.

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  4. Anybody remember when he and K Dub were teamates doing a photo shoot @ Millville and he told K Dub that he should learn to rhythem the whoops cause you can't blitz them for a whole moto... K Dub told him he hadn't rhythemed whoops since C class... golden.

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